I got the key to the Kingdom….and the world cant do me no harm

Im Beautiful, so you say. You care about me, so you say. But I’ve heard from you once, via ONE TEXT, in a week? Does this add up to yall? It doesn’t add up to me but I’m confused. So confused.

I am the saddest that I have been in a while. Im devasted because I know that what I hope for is never gonna come to pass because that spark just aint there anymore. Im so sad but yet I continue to laugh so no one will ask any questions. The only place I can cry is in the shower and in my friend’s room. I cant keep living like this. Its unhealthy for me. I have to do something or im gonna drive myself over something that would not do the same over me. Should I walk away? I think its time…

Well today is November the 11th and I AM TIRED! No not physically tired but emotionally tired of everything possible. I can’t seem to smile about anything and on top of all that its HOMECOMING WEEK! I don’t wanna do anything…I’m dropping out of the fashion show because my knee is even more agitated than it was two weeks ago even though the swelling has deminished…Its been a long time since i’ve stated a word on here. Got get back in the swing of things. Its just a lot of shit that I prefer not to do…is that bad? If it is I really don’t care…Meanwhile, I’m trying to get rid of one bad habit at a time. This week I’m gonna tackle my biggest temptation…wish me luck. (No, I’m not gonna name my  temptation.) Next week, it’ll be this cursing thing. But despite all of this nonsense and chaos my life seems better. I think about my little one everyday but it doesn’t hurt to think about it like it did weeks ago. I’ve realized that I loved him and now just wasn’t the time. It’ll happen eventually and when I’m ready. so I’m signing off with a small message: Everything happens in DUE TIME. Don’t rush it because when you rush things that come out messy. Good Day

lemme tell yall why niggas get on my nerves. when you dont answer your phone they wanna shit a gotdamn brick but if they dont answer they phone its cool all fine and fucking dandy! oh and dont let you start flirting with niggas just to be playful they be like i heard you did this with such and such! nigga puhlease!!! aint nobody got shit to hide!! but when they smiling in bitches faces and shit you betta not shit! im over it! fuckin over! i swear if i had a dick you could suck it because im seriously bout done with yo ass! i put that on my puppy! wanna go visiting bitches at houses and shit but when i wanna go visit my homeboy you be bout to go in fuckin labor with octuplets! wtf! can you say double fucking standard! i should kick you in the fuckin left nutt! this some bullshit i should shit on you now. im fucking done. back to regular fucking programming.!!!

#Convicted

#Convicted

i dont really feel like doing much sleeping tonight….my heart is so heavy. I just feel like everything i’ve done has been dictated by a situation long since passed. I’m tired. A lot of times i feel like giving up. but hey its okay. there are so many things that have been good that have come from this. others have been further tragedy. im in utter awe, still, at how God has blessed me. despite my actions….He is still good. this present situation tho. it has gotten even stickier than i thought it would become, especially in last couple weeks. much has changed particularly my feelings. i know that a relationship is not what i need. not only am i still trying to better myself but lol i dont even know who i am yet. sometimes i feel like a completely different person each and everytime i glance my reflection. smh….a journey is what this summer has been and there is an even tougher journey ahead: fall semester. im trying how to learn to stay out of my feelings and be the lady God is calling to me to be….smh….this is gonna be one hell of a school year. peace&blessings

I have had a horrible last two days….smh.

I’m mad as fuck….

Hahaha! I’m mad….like forreal I’m mad. At myself. I hate falling for guys that are miles away. 2,000 miles to be exact. I need to get a fucking grip lol.